Bereavement Pilgrimage for Parents

Losing a child is the most devastating thing a parent can experience. This 3 day journey will bring together bereaved parents and siblings to connect with and support each other using the power of walking and nature. Over the first 2 days we will journey as a group of up to 20 pilgrims through the Sussex countryside. Our journey will conclude on the third day in the companionship of friends and family. Companions can either join for the whole of the last day or the last small section and the beach.

Helena’s Story:

The inspiration for the pilgrimage came from Helena Grace. She will be walking 100 miles from Winchester to join the group on its first day. She describes her motivation:

“I am a bereaved mother who lost her son in 2022 aged 23. I have found that it is only in the vast magnificence of nature, whether in the sea or walking in a beautiful landscape, that grief becomes almost bearable. Grief isolates us, we may feel guilt and shame. It can fundamentally change our identity, undermine our confidence and leave us struggling to parent our other children. Talking, journaling, and therapy etc all have their place but I felt that I needed to be outside and moving. This year I am walking 100 miles, pushing myself to make a journey I know my son would be proud of me for.. I’m welcoming other bereaved parents to join me on the last 3 days, to create a supportive community of people, remembering their loved ones through activity in nature”.

The Journey:

Day 1: 8.5 miles

We begin in the ruins of Lewes Priory, setting our intentions for the journey ahead. Passing through the town we head for the hills, experiencing the silence of Bible Bottom valley and the heights of Mount Caburn, a site of prehistoric ritual and burial. From there we spend time in the architectural splendour of Glynde, before crossing country to Beddingham and the site of an Anglo Saxon minster with medieval wall paintings. We then make our way through farmland to Firle, where we rest for the night in Sanctuary at St Peters Church.

Day 2: 10 miles

Rising to Firle Beacon, we’ll take in views of countryside and sea before returning to the valley and spectacular murals of the Bloomsbury Group in Berwick, celebrating turning seasons and cycle of life. Crossing the river at Alfriston, we’ll ascend to the ancient tumuli above the Long Man of Wilmington, before following the footsteps of pilgrims to the remarkable ancient yew at the former priory. Returning to Alfriston we take Sanctuary overnight at the Old Chapel Centre.

Day 3: 6.5 miles

Beginning in The Tye, we’ll meet up with our friends and family who have supported us through our grief to walk with us for the final day. Taking the longer path, we’ll wander through woodland and historic villages to emerge over the oxbows. At Exceat, we are joined by any remaining supporters who wish to see us complete our journey. We follow the flow of water down Cuckmere Haven to meet the sea, release our intentions and end our pilgrimage witnessed by the Seven Sisters with an optional dip or paddle in the sea. When ready, pilgrims return to Exceat to make their journeys home.

Carry My Loved Ones

If you are unable to make this journey but would like us to walk on your behalf, you can submit the name of a lost loved one along with a donation to the pilgrimage. Names of loved ones will be printed and carried by the group, who will honour their names during moments of remembrance and at the closing of the pilgrimage.

Information

What’s Included:

• Fully guided 3 day journey for parents grieving children age 5+ with companions on final day
• Various pilgrim practices, such as periods of deliberate silence; barefoot walking; wildflower foraging; stories, songs and folklore; discovering natural beauty and wild places; opportunities to remember and honour our loved ones.
• Overnight accommodation in Sanctuary and a simple breakfast (see below).
• Baggage transfer

Sanctuary - adopt the simple life and sleep as a pilgrim. We’ll share a sleepover on the floors of St Peters Firle and the Old Chapel Centre, both of which have modern toilets/wash facilities. An airmat, sleeping bag, silk liner and inflatable pillow are provided by the British Pilgrimage Trust, or you can bring your own. You also have the option to make your own arrangements to sleep separately in traditional accommodation nearby if you prefer.

Food - a simple breakfast will be provided on Saturday and Sunday. Pilgrims will be required to pay for their own packed lunch and dinner. Packed lunches are available to buy in the village stores at each location. We’ll arrange food delivery for the group each evening but pilgrims will be required to pay for their own meal. Please ensure you tell us of any dietary requirements on your booking form.

Travel and bags - Pilgrims will need to make their own travel arrangements to Lewes on Friday and from Exceat on Sunday. We will set up a whatsapp group in advance so that people can arrange lift shares with fellow pilgrims. Your bags will be transferred between overnight locations, make sure you bring a day pack for carrying your lunch separate to your overnight things. Lewes can be reached by train and bus. Exceat connects to Brighton and Eastbourne by bus.

What to bring - 3 Day pilgrims to bring packed lunch for Day 1, trusty walking boots, day pack with sun protection/waterproofs, water bottle or thermos, overnight bag with wash bag, change of comfortable clothes, swimming things if taking a dip in the sea on Day 3. 1 Day pilgrims won’t need overnight things but should bring everything else. Final Mile Companions won't need a packed lunch.

Your Guides - BPT's historian, naturalist and pilgrim Dawn Champion and therapeutic adventure leader, Julia Sands, of ipse wilderness. They will offer a nurturing, holding space to support you and lead you along a beautiful, wild route. You will receive support when you need it and space when you don't. You can decide whether or not to participate in any practices they offer.

Toilet Facilities - There are toilet facilities roughly mid way through each day’s journey. Your guide will make sure there are additional opportunities for rest breaks in the wild as we go.

Ticket options and how to pay

1. Click Join the Guestlist
2. Select your ticket from one of the 4 options
3. Then add an appropriate donation at the bottom on the final row

FAQ’s

Is this religious? This is not a faith-based pilgrimage and is open to everyone, of any or no faith. We adopt a Bring Your Own Beliefs ethos, and expect pilgrims to respect each other. You are free to engage with places and practices as you wish. We visit a variety of pilgrim places including ancient trees, wild water, hilltops, ancient monuments and historic churches. We do not lead group prayers or formal worship but give pilgrims time and space in all these places of peace for contemplation, meditation or other personal practices as you prefer.

Will I be asked to share my feelings with the group? There will be no compulsory group sharing moments. If you want to share your feelings in personal conversation that is up to you. You can choose to be in silence for all or part of the walk and this will be respected by other group members. Day 3 will involve themed invitations for reflection and conversation, and participation in this is optional

Is this therapy? This pilgrimage is not formal therapy, rather an informal journey surrounded by a mutually supportive group who have shared your lived experience. You will be guided through a range of pilgrimage practices which have therapeutic benefits, but there is no formal therapy or counselling involved. Day 3 will be supported by therapeutic 'walk and talk' practices.

Who can come? Days 1-3: Parents and Guardians of bereaved of children aged 5 years and up and their siblings. Day 3: Friends and relatives who have supported the bereaved and would like to pledge to continue to offer support either for the full day (6.5 miles) or the final leg (3 mile round walk). Under 16's may come with an appropriate supervising adult, bearing in mind the walking distance each day. If you'd like to bring an Under 16 for the full 3-Day pilgrimage please contact us to discuss the journey in more detail.

What are the price options? We don’t want to exclude anyone who would benefit from this journey because of their income. We are seeking funding to subsidise as much as we can, but we are asking pilgrims to help us cover costs with a recommended contribution of £100. If you are on income-related benefits please contact us to discuss how we can support you. Final day companions are asked to contribute £20, those joining us at the end are asked for a £10 contribution. All funds raised help to cover the costs of the journey.

Are there fitness or access limitations? Pilgrimage is a moderate activity. If you struggle to walk all day, this type of pilgrimage may be an unsuitable activity for you right now. There are always plenty of escape points en route. But we will walk slowly, and start early, giving us time to walk the distance. This route includes some steep hills and stiles. Unfortunately this pilgrimage is not suited for those requiring wheelchair or scooter access. If you have a mobility impairment please contact us so we can discuss your particular access requirements.

Can I bring my dog? Sadly not - we can’t accommodate dogs on our guided pilgrimages. However, if you have a registered assistance dog, they are welcome.